The Bobblehead Hall of Shame By Jill Whisnant
We have some work to do in sports. For starters, it would be nice if we could figure out where the Raiders are gonna play mediocre football next year. Then maybe we can do something about the fact that in MLB, the American League and the National League insist on playing the same game with different rules. And once that’s sorted out, we can finally turn our attention to the next-most-pressing issue plaguing all sports at all levels of competition: bobbleheads.
Despite being one of the most sought-after giveaway items, these misshapen mounds of resin and plastic invariably fall short of expectations. With all of the advancements in technology, it’s baffling that we can’t do bobbleheads right. We can produce actual human organs using 3D printers, and have you seen augmented reality startup Magic Leap’s virtual assistant, MICA? She has a better face than 99% of real humans I know, and she makes realistic eye contact and authentic facial expressions. And while I’m not digging the prospect of being winked at by a Randy Johnson action figure, why can’t we combine these technologies and apply them to bobbleheads for god’s sake?
There are some bad bobbleheads in circulation, most of them from baseball, and I really enjoyed sifting through the ones submitted by readers of Awful Announcing and The Comeback. So let’s take a look at the atrocities in the Bobblehead Hall of Shame: